Thursday, October 05, 2006

Reasons to never talk to your crushes

I have to go to Montreal 8 times a year for press checks on 8 issues of 2 different magazines. This means I wait for the sheets of the magazine to come off the press and then adjust the color. i.e. Is the Vuitton ad bright enough? Does it need more magenta or yellow? Is Hedi Slimane's 4c black & white image rich enough?? What is more important when balancing color gains between a Chanel ad and an editorial shot from Mario Testino???

These are the VERY important decisions one must make in the role of Production Director.

I enjoy it, oddly enough, except sometimes for the round-the-clock shifts I work for 2 or 3 days in order to be there for each section of the mag. Since it's pretty much me and a bunch of men in any printing plant, I am forced to entertain myself between naps and movies and meals by deciding who the hottest boy is in any factory. This is a rough life considering I tend to like my gentlemen friends a bit rough around the edges anyway...

There's been one fella up in Boucherville/Montreal who I have gotten along great with. He has a very visible tribal-ish tattoo that runs down one side of his neck and arm. I know, I know -- I, too, am sorry about that early 90s version of the bell-bottom he's sporting, but pickins are pretty slim at these plants. Yet I'm a sucker for tattoos, he's tall enough, I like foreigners, and he's got really, really blue eyes so get offa me.

He speaks perfect English (which is pretty odd for any part of Quebec not right in Montreal), and we've talked more each time I am on press during his shifts. Long story short: we developed an obvious mutual crush on each other, where I find myself putting on a cute outfit and lip gloss to go to the damn press at 5 am, and he blushes furiously about half the time I talk to him. It's been so goofy that the occasional co-workers who come with me have commented on it unprompted.

When last up there, my rental car got a flat one evening and the weather was gorgeous, so I spent about 2 hours sitting outside talking to this guy while waiting for the repair man. While he chain-smoked, we finally, 10 months later, got down and dirty on the personal questioning. What I found out:

1) Has a girfriend of 12 years (much as i figured all along)
2) He's 32, she's 29. i.e. 20 and 17 when they met
3) He has never been to Toronto. (which is 5 hrs away from Montreal, where he has lived his entire life)
4) Wants to travel to Transylvania (WTF?). Uhhh, what? Romania? Are you on
5) Has been to the US once, for a week in San Diego. Claimes he wants to move there. Girlfriend "won't let me". Does not know where Ohio is.
6) Has worked at this plant since he was 17.
7) Drives a white truck; is still smokin' hot, funny and really really nice, albiet a little naive for this city girl.

Status: The pretend life I made up my head and thrust upon him was MUCH more interesting. And the crush began to wane rather rapidly...

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